Most people seem to have no problem-managing people. They learn this from college classes, management workshops or on the job experiences.
You know how to be diplomatic, co-operative and insightful to the needs of the people you must lead.
However, you fall short of the skills in how to manage yourself. Your stress levels are very high and your self-confidence is quite low.
The old phrase “do as I say not as I do” holds true here. You tend to stress out because you want to appear perfect in the sight of others, but you just cannot seem to get yourself managed were you feel comfortable. Probably you get to work hour’s earlier then other people and leave later or even bring work home. Yet, you want to give the impression that you have great time management skills.
You also want to give the impression that you are accessible, while actually you are rushed and not present for people.
This all stems from your inability to manage yourself. Stress adds to this inability.
Once you allow yourself to be, open to the opportunities to de-stress and self-nurture by using natural solutions your self-management increases and your ability to manage others will be much more effective.
I have an easy and proven 24-hour stress plan that will help you. Check it out in my products section of this web page.!!
In relationships, usually people confuse tolerating and compromising.
To set the confusion straight, tolerating causes stress to the person tolerating a problem or situation. On the other hand compromising is a win-win for both people involved and there is very little stress created.
Now, what are you tolerating and why? Given that the relationship is important to you, you want to do the right thing or feel good. So why are you stressing your self by tolerating something?
Usually the answer is that you are fearful of the confrontation or perhaps hurting the other person’s feelings.
Consider this, the fear of confrontation must be faced so you can feel better and get the problem solved.
If you are worried about hurt feelings, consider your own feelings first. You are the one that will have the most hurt for the longest time.
The best way to get the relationship on a better track is to calmly talk about the problems and formulate a compromise.
This solution will take time and effort, but if the relationship is worth it, it is effort well invested.
Thinking things out, talking about it and coming to a mutual agreement in a calm attitude is natural and healthy.
1) Calming Colors:
Always choose clothes in the colors you are most comfortable with. Colors that also ‘go’ with many of the other clothes in your closet I I’m not talking basic black here. I’m saying cool greens and blues, soft pinks, and quiet yellows.- colors that calm you the minute you see them. Yes, these colors will probably ‘go’ with your basic neutral colors of your wardrobe, as well. If you really want to be low maintenance and organized hand like colors together in your closet for easy visual and easy grab and go.
2) Visual Appeal :
Patterns and textures that make you feel ‘busy, confused, or itchy’ are never good choices. Also if you feel like you really stand out unless this is your goal steer clear. You want clothes that will set the stage for a stress free life. Clothes that make you uncomfortable or awkward before you even leave the house will insure you to have a very unpleasant evening or event.
3) Size- Really Matters:
Wear clothes that fit. don’t be someone your not. You’ll spend your day pulling and tugging at hemlines, straps, your neckline and if course closing buttons. What fun is that?
On the other side if you choose to hide yourself in your over sized clothes, your living in a mobile cave. Putting a shell around yourself and radiating misery. That is no you!
4) Practical is What Practical does.
Going to the gym? For heck sake don’t stop off at the supermarket this will only distract others but you’ll get a nasty chill.
If you have to really think if an outfit is appropriate or ‘right’ it probably isn’t. You’ll be worrying about your choice instead of enjoying yourself.
5) Enough is Enough already:
Layering on the jewelry or the accessories can weigh you down, have you fussing with the necklace in your soup, and generally making you feel bad.
Bottom line here is dress just for yourself then the crowd. True, this is extremely hard to shallow and is very bad karma for the people who market clothes. But geesh, you’re the one wearing and caring for the clothes not them.
Truly any ordinary outfit you feel good in, will look fabulous when you have a brilliant sincere smile on your face and a calm twinkle in your eyes. Stress free confidence is the ultimate goal here.
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Be your own best friend during the holidays, enjoy being alone.
There are a large number of us who will be spending the holidays alone, either by choice or by chance.
No matter what the reason, this will add to the stress the holiday season already has incurred.
You can tolerate the probing questions concerning why you are spending your holidays alone. You can choose to share your time with friends if you want to, you are free to do, as you like.
You may even avoid or ignore the holiday fanfare altogether. However, it still will leave an empty spot within you.
Why is this? It is because we are social animals who enjoy the “herd” activities.
You can allow yourself to spend these precious times nurturing yourself. Do things that give you comfort and calm. You can take a long tub bath, lotion your feet, curl up on the soft blanket with a special book, or a marathon old movie watching, even try perhaps marathon sports programs, these suggestions will calm and relax you. Believe me these things really do feel great.
Be grateful for the small stuff. You owe it to yourself to write out a list of everything you are grateful for, no matter how common it is, add this to your journal and refer back to it often especially when you feel a bit sad.
Perhaps you want to have a few holiday cards displayed, or small ornaments and pictures that will bring a small touch of festivity to your space, do what ever feels comfortable for YOU!!
As ordinary people, we know we are living busy! If you slow down enough to ask yourself why, you may not like the answers.
Are you just doing busy work? The equivalent of moving one pile of dirt to another spot?
Are you procrastinating and afraid of getting something done because you have a fear associated with that something?
Are you justifying something to someone? As in “ see I’m too busy to commit to a project or event".
Are you trying to control an issue, situation or someone?
Are you afraid of succeeding and are you allowing yourself to sabotage your success.
I point out these questions as ideas for you to ponder and think about.
Now you have a point of reference, so you can address the problem or problems you might have. Once you “see” the problem you can start to resolve it.
Please feel free to comment or share your stories.
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